Wednesday, March 19, 2008

GIJOE WEEK: H.I.S.S. TANKS RULE !

The H.I.S.S. Tank was mentioned earlier in the "Top Cobra Vehicles" post, but I feel it needs its own spotlight because a single post is unable to contain its awesomeness.....


I want to see H.I.S.S. tanks in the movie. I want them to look like the originals, with original looking H.I.S.S. drivers controlling them. I want them to be FAST and MEAN. I want them to be hardass fists of Cobra, mowing down whatever's in their vicinity, driving through buildings and cars and taking enemy fire like it was nothing.

Here's some killer footage of a custom-made "car tank" to give you an idea of the speed and maneuverability of these fuckers:


Now picture that thing bigger, with thick black armor, red COBRA logos on the side, tearing through GIJoes with a Cobra Officer firing down from the twin-canon gun! Here's a pic to help you envision:
(original pic)

And here's some sweet info, care of Vilotfix.com:

COBAR H.I.S.S. TANK:
"Infantry can take an objective, but armor is the only true way to hold it. The Cobra HISS Tank was developed by Destro’s M.A.R.S. corporation to fulfill two separate needs on the battle field, anti-personnel and heavy armor. With its twin 30mm automatic canons, a top speed of 75mph and its slim design, the HISS tank is the most versatile and deadly opposition on any battlefield. Weather on city streets or through the dense jungle, the HISS can outrun, out-maneuver, and out perform anything in it’s class. Built with a modular design allowing Cobra’s technicians to easily replace and repair battle damaged units with maximum efficiency. Although specialized HISS Drivers are selected to pilot most HISS tanks, the cockpit design is simple enough for almost any basic trooper to understand and operate."
COBRA H.I.S.S. DRIVER:
"The Cobra Infantry trooper is presented with two options once they have paid their dues on the field, one to join a specialized unit like the various Viper Corps, or two to join the Armor Division. Cobra only selects battle-seasoned troops to man and operate their Armor and Artillery. All HISS drivers are expected to not only be able to hold their own in combat, but to be able to take control of any situation on the field. Their Tank is just an extension of their own deadly nature. HISS Drivers can not only operate but also repair their own tanks on the field. They posses intimate knowledge of all components of the HISS as well as most other armor and artillery in Cobra’s arsenal, making the HISS driver one of Cobra’s most versatile soldiers. You may be able to knock out a HISS tank, but beware if it’s pilot survives. He’ll be the guy with the knife in your back ten minutes later."

Previous: Top Cobras, Top Joes, Top Cobra Vehicles

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jim, you are the best!

Anonymous said...

That Hiss tank you photoshopped is killer dude!

Anonymous said...

OMG, that is the coolest! HISS tanks!!

Anonymous said...

''Armour doesn't win the battles alone.You also need Infantry, and Air Support.Such as The 1986 Cobra Night Raven S3P Black Jet Spy Plane. Use this jet plane ,to spy in on the G. I. Joe team, and you'll win the day.''-''Raven.''